Makcik ngan pakcik aku ni sempat nyanyi karaoke lepas tetamu sumer balik...wah wah makcik aku ni sore boleh tahan..Pakcik aku sorg tu lak memang suka nyanyi .Sore dia pun boleh tahan..
Akhirnya dapat jugak bawak kids singgah walaupun kejap kat Ulu Bendol. On the way balik dari Kenduri Kahwin Mak Lang kat Serting. Walau sekejap my kids sonok sgt nampaknya..
Seorang sahabat Nabi s.a.w bernama Anas b. Malik telah meriwayatkan satu hadis Nabi s.a.w yg menceritakan mengenai pertanyaan-pertanya an iblis kepada Allah s.w.t tentang banyak perkara.
1. Iblis bertanya kepada Allah s.w.t: " Ya Tuhanku! Engkau telah memberikan kepada anak Adam itu tempat tinggal, iaitu rumah untuk berzikir kepadaMu.Tunjukkanl ah kepadaku tempat kediamanku." Firman Allah s.w.t yang bermaksud: "Wahai iblis! tempat kediamanmu ialah bilik air(tandas). "
2. Iblis berkata:"Ya Tuhanku! Engkau telah memberikan kepada anak adam itu tempat mereka berkumpul (masjid,surau) , dimanakah tempat bagiku berkumpul?." Firman Allah s.w.t yg bermaksud: "Wahai iblis! tempatmu berkumpul ialah di pasar-pasar, tampat-tempat hiburan ( pusat membeli belah, kelab malam, pesta-pesta, majlis maksiat) dan sebagainya."
3. Iblis berkata lagi:"Ya Tuhanku! Engkau telah memberikan mereka anak Adam itu kitab untuk mereka membacanya. Tunjukkanlah padaku apakah bahan bacaanku?" Firman Allah s.w.t yang bermaksud:" Wahai Iblis, bahan bacaanmu ialah syair (sajak/lagu/ puisi yang melalaikan manusia dari mengingati Tuhan).
4. Iblis berkata:"Wahai Tuhanku! Engkau telah memberikan mereka cerita-cerita (kata-kata benar), apakah cerita-cerita bagiku?". Firman Allah s.w.t yang bermaksud: " cerita-cerita bagimu adalah kata-kata dusta ( bohong atau yng berkaitan dengannya)"
5. Iblis bertanya lagi: "Wahai Tuhanku! Engkau telah memberikan azan kepada anak Adam untuk mengajak atau mengumpulkan orang datang bersembahyang berjemaah, apakah azanku untuk mengumpul orang?". Firman Allah s.w.t yang bermaksud: "wahai iblis, azan untuk mu ialah seruling."
6. Tanya iblis lagi:"Ya Tuhanku! Engkau telah mengutus para utusanmu (para nabi dan rasul) kepada anak Adam, siapakah yang menjadi utusan bagiku?". Firman Allah s.w.t yang bermaksud:" Wahai iblis para utusanmu ialah terdiri dari dukun (peramal nasib), ataupun yang lebihkurang sama dengannya."
7. Kata iblis:"Ya Tuhanku! Engkau telah berikan kitab bertulis (ayat-ayat Al Quran)kepada anak Adam. Apakah tulisanbagiku? ." Firman Allah s.w.t yang bermaksud:"wahai iblis, tulisanmu adalah tulisan gincu yang palsu dibadan, (seperti gincu,tatu, tahilalat yang diada-adakan dan yang lebih kurang sama dengannya)
8. kata iblis:"Wahai Tuhanku! Engkau telah memberikankepada anak Adam itu perangkap-perangkap . Apakah perangkap bagiku?." Allah s.w.t berfirman yang bermaksud:"wahai iblis, perangkap untukmu ialah wanita-wanita. "
9. Kata iblis:"Wahai Tuhanku! Engkau telah memberikan makanan kepada anak-anak Adam (yang disebutkan namaMu), apakah makanan untukku?."Firman Allah s.w.t yang bermaksud: "wahai iblis, makanan untukmu ialah sesuatu yang tidak disebutnama Allah."
10. Kata iblis:"Wahai Tuhanku! Engkau telah memberikan minuman kepada anak-anak Adam, apakah minuman untukku?" Firman Allah s.w.t yang bermaksud:" Wahai iblis, minuman untukmu ialah sesuatu yang memabukkan dan yang tidak dimulakan denhan nama Allah."
EASY | DIFFICULT |
| Easy to judge the mistakes of others | Difficult to recognize our own mistakes |
| Easy to talk without thinking | Difficult to refrain the tongue |
| Easy to hurt someone who loves us. | Difficult to heal the wound... |
| Easy to forgive others | Difficult to ask for forgiveness |
| Easy to set rules. | Difficult to follow them... |
| Easy to dream every night. | Difficult to fight for a dream... |
| Easy to show victory. | Difficult to assume defeat with dignity... |
| Easy to admire a full moon. | Difficult to see the other side... |
| Easy to stumble with a stone. | Difficult to get up... |
| Easy to enjoy life every day. | Difficult to give its real value... |
| Easy to promise something to someone. | Difficult to fulfill that promise... |
| Easy to say we love. | Difficult to show it every day... |
| Easy to criticize others. | Difficult to improve oneself... |
| Easy to make mistakes. | Difficult to learn from them... |
| Easy to weep for a lost love. | Difficult to take care of it so not to lose it. |
| Easy to think about improving. | Difficult to stop thinking it and put it into action... |
| Easy to think bad of others | Difficult to give them the benefit of the doubt... |
| Easy to receive | Difficult to give |
| Easy to read this | Difficult to follow |
| Easy keep the friendship with words | Difficult to keep it with meanings |
Apa nak jadi dengan orang Melayu kita??
Anda tentu sudah membaca pelbagai cerita jaya anak-anak Melayu kita dalam pelbagai bidang kehidupan – dari pendidikan kepada kerjaya, perniagaan dan bermacam-macam lagi.
Sebagai anak Melayu di bumi Singapura, kita tentu berbangga dengan kejayaan anak bangsa kita itu. Kadangkala kita sampai mendabik dada dan berkata inilah tanda Melayu Baru.
Tetapi, apa pula sikap kita apabila berdepan dengan kisah-kisah yang menunjukkan kebobrokan masyarakat kita? Apakah kita cenderung untuk menutup sebelah mata atau sembunyikan saja segala kepincangan itu, seolah-olah tiada yang buruk berlaku dalam masyarakat kita?
Perlu Bersikap Bijaksana
Bagi saya, kita perlu bersikap bijaksama. Dalam kita meraikan kejayaan masyarakat kita dalam kehidupan moden sekarang ini, kita juga tidak harus membutakan mata dalam menghadapi kepincangan-kepincangan dalam masyarakat kita.
Saban masa, kita berdepan dengan kisah-kisah buruk yang melibatkan masyarakat kita sendiri.
Dari kisah pasangan berbelanja ribuan dolar untuk majlis perkahwinan tetapi bercerai-berai dalam masa setahun dua sahaja, membawa kepada kisah anak-anak yang jadi mangsa perceraian, keluarga yang kehilangan tempat tinggal gara-gara kesilapan sendiri dalam menguruskan kewangan mereka lalu mencari tempat berteduh di tepi-tepi pantai, pergelutan berterus-terusan dengan masalah penagihan dadah dan banyak lagi.
Sejak kebelakangan ini pula, kita membaca di dada-dada akhbar tentang pelibatan anak-anak Melayu kita dalam pelbagai kes jenayah, ada yang begitu kejam sampai melewati batas kemanusiaan.
Mayat Reput
Beberapa hari lalu saja misalnya, kita dikejutkan dengan berita kematian seorang kanak-kanak berusia enam tahun, Muhammad Nor Rashidy Rahmat, yang mayatnya ditemui dalam keadaan reput dalam sebuah troli di tebing Sungai Kallang selepas hilang seminggu lamanya.
Yang menyedihkan, seorang lelaki yang disyaki membunuh kanak-kanak malang itu seorang lelaki Melayu juga yang merupakan kenalan keluarga kanak-kanak berkenaan.
Lelaki itu telah pun dihadapkan ke mahkamah dan sama-sama kita menantikan perbicaraannya. Jika dibaca lebih mendalam lagi, kita dapati keluarga kanak-kanak itu juga boleh dikatakan berantakan dan dicengkam masalah penagihan dadah.
Minggu ini juga, kita dikejutkan degan perbicaraan kes mahkamah yang melibatkan sekumpulan anak muda Melayu bersama beberapa rakan bukan Melayu mereka yang dituduh merogol beramai-ramai seorang wanita berusia 17 tahun dalam rumah salah seorang remaja lelaki tersebut.
Wanita malang itu dikatakan menjadi mangsa selepas mabuk akibat terlalu banyak minum minuman keras yang dibeli lelaki-lelaki tertuduh tersebut.
Kesnya sedang berjalan di mahkamah dan tidaklah wajah membincangkannya secara lanjut sehingga hakim membuat keputusannya.
Cuma apa yang ingin saya timbulkan ialah keberanian anak-anak muda melakukan jenayah seburuk itu di rumah ketika ibu bapa mereka tiada dan sikap mereka yang minum arak bagaikan minum Coca Cola sahaja gayanya.
Sebelum ini, kita sudah pun didedahkan dengan kes penderaan kanak-kanak sampai mati melibatkan bapa atau ibu bapa Melayu.
Apa perasaan anda apabila membaca laporan-laporan sedemikian? Tidakkah hati anda terguris.
Tidakkah anda tertanya-tanya di dalam hati: Apa nak jadi dengan bangsa Melayu yang beragama Islam ini?
Bagaimanakah sebuah masyarakat yang dahulunya terkenal dengan prinsip biar mati anak, jangan mati adat dan menjunjung nilai-nilai keperibadian Melayu yang tinggi kini bergelumang dengan masalah-masalah jenayah kejam dan sikap negatif yang menghambat kemajuan?
Orang Melayu dahulu terkenal dengan budi bahasa yang dijunjung tinggi, adat resam dan tatasusila. Tetapi, mengapa kini kita dikenali pula sebagai masyarakat yang bergelumang dengan pelbagai masalah sosial dan gagal mengendalikan rumah tangga hingga akhirnya terpaksa berkhemah di tepi pantai selepas hilang tempat berteduh?
Melihat kepada perkembangan akhir-akhir ini, semakin ramai anggota masyarakat kita, terutama golongan anak muda, yang bagaikan tidak terkawal lagi.
Rambut hitam jadi perang, tatu ditubuh jadi lambang kemegahan dan bercumbuan di khalayak ramai sudah menjadi perkara biasa.
Kesemua itu sampai menimbulkan sindiran sinis sesetengah orang: Apakah ini yang menjadi ciri kebanggaan Melayu Baru?
Salah Siapa?
Mengapa wujudnya semua ini? Salah Siapa?
Salah pemerintah, pemimpin Melayu ataupun salah diri kita sendiri kerana lalai dengan kehidupan harian?
Sepanjang kerjaya saya selama lebih 27 tahun, saya telah menyaksikan pelbagai usaha pemimpin politik dan masyarakat kita untuk mengatasi kepincangan masyarakat Melayu dan mempersiap mereka menghadapi kehidupan yang penuh persaingan demi penakatan mereka dalam Singapura ini.
Daripada badan-badan seperti Majlis Pusat Pertubuhan-Pertubuhan Budaya Melayu Singapura, membawa kepada Yayasan Mendaki, Angkatan Karyawan Islam (AMP), Majlis Ugama Islam Singapura (MUIS) dan kini Forum Kepimpinan Masyarakat (CLF) yang menggembleng tenaga pemimpin politik dan masyarakat, saya telah melihat dan merasai pelbagai kemajuan dalam masyarakat hasil usaha tersebut.
Cuma masalahnya, di sebalik usaha itu, masih terdapat jurang di antara golongan berjaya dengan golongan tidak berjaya dalam masyarakat kita.
Sedang golongan yang berpendidikan dan berpendapatan tinggi terus mendaki tangga kejayaan, golongan bawahan pula terus dilanda kesusahan.
Golongan Terpinggir
Jika dibiarkan berterusan, mereka akan menjadi golongan terpinggir dalam masyarakat. Inikah yang kita mahukan? Saya pasti, tiada seorang pemimpin pun yang mahukan keadaan sedemikian.
Namun hakikatnya, terdapat batas-batas tertentu dalam apa yang b0leh sahaja mengusahakan pelbagai program dan mendapatkan kerjasama pemerintah untuk membawa kemajuan kepada masyarakat.
Namun, keputusan akhirnya masih terletak kepada individu sendiri. Jika kita, sebagai ketua keluarga gagal menyemai nilai-nilai positif yang cintakan ilmu dan usaha dalam jiwa anak-anak, maka susahlah untuk kita maju.
Kalau kita sebagai ibu bapa mengambil sikap mudah berserah dan lebih suka membiarkan keluarga kita tinggal melarat di tepi pantai, bagaimana hendak kita majukan anak-anak kita sendiri?
Jika kita lebih cenderung mengamalkan sikap meminta-minta tanpa dibekalkan usaha gigih, bagaimana dapat kita keluar dari lingkaran musibah yang menghantui keluarga kita?
Jika kita sebagai ibu bapa tidak ambil kisah dan ambil peduli perkembangan anak-anak kita, wajarkah kita mengharapkan orang lain untuk melakukannya?
Ayuh, mari kita berlapang dada dan buka minda untuk memikirkannya.
Ibnu al-Qayum al-Jauziah mengatakan terdapat sembilan bentuk pembaziran yang sering dilakukan manusia antaranya:
That is 90 per cent of the time. Then there is the other 10 per cent, when, she admits, “I have become totally frustrated and lost control of myself.”
It can happen during weeks and weeks and weeks of no camp in the summer, or at the end of a long day at home — just as adult peace is within her grasp — when the 7- or 9-year-old won’t go to sleep.
And then she yells.
“This is ridiculous! I’ve been doing things all day for you!”
Many in today’s pregnancy-flaunting, soccer-cheering, organic-snack-proffering generation of parents would never spank their children. We congratulate our toddlers for blowing their nose (“Good job!”), we friend our teenagers (literally and virtually), we spend hours teaching our elementary-school offspring how to understand their feelings. But, incongruously and with regularity, this is a generation that yells.
“I’ve worked with thousands of parents and I can tell you, without question, that screaming is the new spanking,” said Amy McCready, the founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, which teaches parenting skills in classes, individual coaching sessions and an online course.
“This is so the issue right now. As parents understand that it’s not socially acceptable to spank children, they are at a loss for what they can do. They resort to reminding, nagging, timeout, counting 1-2-3 and quickly realise that those strategies don’t work to change behaviour. In the absence of tools that really work, they feel frustrated and angry and raise their voice. They feel guilty afterward, and the whole cycle begins again.”
Amy Wilson, a writer and actress in Manhattan, used to give up shopping for Lent. That was before she had children, now ages 6, 5 and 2. This year she gave up yelling. Or tried to. “It didn’t really work,” she said, “but I definitely yelled less.”
Wilson has written a humorous autobiographical book about parenting, to be published next year, called “When Did I Get Like This?” An entire chapter is devoted to her personal efforts to curtail her yelling.
A one-woman show, “Mother Load,” which she wrote and performed Off Broadway and will take on tour for the second time next year, opens with a yelling scene that draws laughs and includes the line “I have had it with looking for puppy” in a high-decibel lament that rings true to anyone who has searched for a favourite stuffed animal for the seventh time in a day.
Familial screamers have long been a beloved part of American pop culture, from the Costanzas of “Seinfeld” back to the Goldbergs of radio and early television, but they didn’t yell at small children. And though previous generations of parents may have yelled in real life — Dr. Spock called shouting “inevitable from time to time” — this generation of parents seems to be uniquely troubled by their own outbursts.
“My name is Francesca Castagnoli and I am a screamer,” began a post on Motherblogger..net earlier this year. “Admitting I’m a mom that screams, shouts and loses it in front her kids feels like I’m revealing a dark family secret.”
“It’s not kind,” said Klein in Oregon. “When I’m done I feel awful.”
To research their book “Mommy Guilt: Learn to Worry Less, Focus on What Matters Most, and Raise Happier Kids,” the three authors, Devra Renner, Aviva Pflock and Julie Bort, commissioned a survey of 1,300 parents across the country to determine sources of parental guilt. Two-thirds of respondents named yelling — not working or spanking or missing a school event — as their biggest guilt inducer.
“What blew us away about that is that the one thing you really have ultimate control over is the tone of your voice,” said Pflock, a child development specialist.
Parental yelling today may be partly a releasing of stress for multitasking, overachieving adults, parenting experts say.
“Yelling is done when parents feel irritable and anxious,” said Harold S. Koplewicz, the founder of the New York University Child Study Centre. “It can be as simple as ‘I’m overwhelmed, I’m running late for work, I had a fight with my wife, I have a project due — and my son left his homework upstairs.’ “
Numerous studies exist on the effect of corporal punishment on children. A new one came out just last month. Led by a researcher at Duke University’s Centre for Child and Family Policy, the study concluded that spanking children when they are very young (1-year-old) can slow their intellectual development and lead to aggressive behaviour as they grow older. But there is far less data on the more common habit of shouting and screaming in families.
One study that did take a look at the topic — a paper on the “psychological aggression by American parents” published in the Journal of Marriage and Family in 2003 — found that parental yelling was a near-universal occurrence. Of 991 families interviewed, in 88 per cent of them a parent acknowledged shouting, screaming or yelling at the kids at least once (though it didn’t specify how many did it more often) in the previous year.
“We are so accustomed to this that we just think parents get carried away and that it’s not harmful,” said one of the study’s lead authors, Murray A. Straus, a sociologist who is a director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire. “But it affects a child. If someone yelled at you at work, you’d find that pretty jarring. We don’t apply that standard to children.”Psychologists and psychiatrists generally say yelling should be avoided. It’s at best ineffective (the more you do it the more the child tunes it out) and at worse damaging to a child’s sense of well-being and self-esteem.
“It isn’t the yelling per se that’s going to make a difference, it’s how the yelling is interpreted,” said Ronald P. Rohner, director of the Ronald and Nancy Rohner Centre for the Study of Interpersonal Acceptance and Rejection at the University of Connecticut. If a parent is simply loud, he says, the effect is minimal. But if the tone connotes anger, insult or sarcasm, it can be perceived as a sign of rejection.
Rohner noted that while spanking is considered taboo by the major medical and psychological associations, there are still some religious and conservative groups who support it as an effective disciplinary tool, believing that the Bible explicitly allows it.
But, he said, “There is no group of Americans that advocate yelling as a parenting style.”
“My bottom-line recommendation is don’t yell,” he said. “It is a risk factor for a family.”
Easier said than done. Strategies to stop yelling abound. Klein said she has a friend who gives herself a timeout by going into another room when she feels a scream coming on.
Experts suggest figuring out ways to prevent situations that make you most prone to yell. If forgotten homework sends you into the stratosphere, make sure the children have their books and notebooks packed and waiting by the door before they go to bed. If you’re stressed and hungry after a long day at the office, make sure you grab something to eat in the kitchen before you tackle, say, a brewing disagreement over Legos.
Still, there are those moments.
“I’d like to think that most of the time we have a good interaction based on reason,” Lena Merrill said of her 4-year-old daughter, whom she has never spanked. But then there are the times when “she’s done something like poured milk on the floor or ripped a page out of a book,” Merrill said. “I just lose it..”
Usually, she says, she shouts something like, “Why did you do that? Why would you do that?”
“It’s phrased like a question to make her think, but the tone scares her,” Merrill said.
Still, Merrill, a travel consultant in Rutherford, N.J., finds that the threat of yelling can be a convenient stick, much the way the threat of a spanking was in her childhood. Even her husband has taken to using it to encourage good behaviour, she said, issuing the warning:
“Don’t make mommy mad.” — NYT
